Friday, December 31, 2010

FELIZ 2011

Aquí en Sacramento, California aún me encuentro atrapado en el 2010 y por la tele ví las celebraciones en España de quienes ya entraron en el 2011, y felicito a todos por éste avance de ventaja que me llevais en el tiempo.
Desde aquí saludo a quienes celebran haber dejado atrás el año de la crisis, esperando que de la forma que sea regrese la cordura junto con los empleos y los balances para que se evite que algo igual vuelva a suceder.
Pero aunque aproveché ésta circunstancia para contarles lo anterior mi intención era sacar de mi subconciente un relato que validase el año ,pero a falta de tiempo pensante y creativo, pues la familia me apremia a unirme a la mesa de la cena , y aunque mi más profunda intención era narrarles como un chamán utilizaba toda su concentración para lograr la resurección de un pollo rostizado, pues aunque parezca un sinsentido no están viendo el fondo que de llegar ésto a ocurrir, de ahí no hay nada de tiempo a entender como de los cubitos del consomé se puede volver a la vida a una gallina.
En ése tipo de situación a medias me quedo y tan a medias que el chamán solo alcanzó a resucitar un medio pollo, que ya es algo.
FELICIDADES, BUSQUEN EN MI PERFIL EL BLOG GEMELO DEL MISMO NOMBRE .

English version.

As we are still trapped in 2010 here in Sacramento, I am watching the 2011 new year celebrations take place in Spain. Where they managed to get out of the crisis year 2010 although not yet rid of the economic crisis that we here fortunately begin to leave behind, and with good will and hard work and the hope that our government places the acquired experience to some good use and implements measures so that it will not happen again, and have legislators wake up from the zombie state of shock and not allow somebody to keep all the cash as they starve the economy. A world limit that would place excessive reserves in a guaranteed fund to protect the rest of all hard working citizens which DO EXIST, in spite the opinion to the contrary from the greedy few.
I invoke the hope that we recycle all that is currently evil into something good, that the machinery of war and destruction be applied to Peace and reconstruction, that we recover our dignity and afford everyone the opportunity to work and progress and begin the golden era of humanity.
HAPPY 2011.
I have to leave this last post of the year, stay with me for more microstories, right now the family beckons me to come to the dinner table and although my intention was to tell a story about a shaman that finds out how to resurrect a roasted chicken, but since time is short he only accomplishes bringing back to life half a chicken. Which if you think about it would be a giant step in evolution and only a question of months before we can bring living chickens out of chicken broth. Best wishes to all. Find my twin blog of micro stories under my profile.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

BARE TRUTH---VERDAD DESNUDA. © Carlos de la Parra. (Spanish and English versions ,clic down to read.)

Les explicó que había salido a la calle pintado de azul y desnudo, meramente como un acto de dadaísmo, pero los loqueros no le quisieron escuchar y lo llevaron al manicomio.

He explained that the reason for his being out in the street naked and painted in blue was due to a dadaistic performance but they refused to listen and the men in white took him to the nuthouse anyway.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

INVISIBLE.© Carlos de la Parra.(Spanish and English versions, clic down to read into the extreme).

El jurado absolvió al hombre invisible en el caso de exhibición indecente en la vía pública.

The jury has absolved the invisible man in the case of indecent exposure in a downtown area.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

PLATYPUS. © Carlos de la Parra.(Spanish and English versions) Clic down and read.

Encontró al ornitorrinco cagándose encima de su escritorio, giró al instante y corrió a comprar un billete de lotería comprendiendo que era más fácil ganarla a que ésto sucediése.

He found the Platypus taking a shit on top of his desk, he instantly turned around and ran to buy a lottery ticket since he understood it was much easier to win that than to see what he had just witnessed.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

MAGNUM. © Carlos de la Parra. {Spanish and English versions. Clic down to read beautyful and extreme efforts in writing}.

Nadie comprendía que había hecho éste individuo tan pobre para conservar a una mujer de tan extrema belleza a su lado. No habían caído en cuenta de que él utilizaba la palabra magistralmente.
Más no piensen que expresaba  pensamientos propios, sino los de los grandes poetas, que hacía pasar por suyos. Para su fortuna ella era analfabeta.

ENGLISH VERSION

No one could understand how he was able to keep that extremely beautiful woman at his side, him being so poor. They had not figured out he spoke to her in words of love worthy of an accomplished poet, and indeed they came from all the masters, but as he whispered in her ear he made them sound as if they were his own. To his fortune she could not read or write.

Friday, December 10, 2010

PAX. © Carlos de la Parra. (Spanish and English versions) Clic down to read.

Obtuvo un contrato como cobaya humana en los laboratorios que preparaban un extracto de la mosca tsé-tsé africana, famosa por producir sueño permanente a sus víctimas. Se estipulaba que se pagarían todas las horas que estuviese dormido. La familia entera cuidaba evitarle todo ruido o molestia, no fuése a ser que despertara. Y no deberá entenderse que ésto era por interés económico. Lo que sucede es que  despierto era muy pesado.                    

ENGLISH VERSION

He got a contract as a human guinea pig with some labs that experimented with sleep serum extracted from the african tse-tse fly, known to have caused permanent sleep to some of it's victims. It was stipulated that he would be paid for every single hour he slept. The entire family made sure no one disturbed him in any way, to the extreme of silencing every telephone around. Now this might sound like they were doing it for the money,but such was not the case. The fact is  awake he was unbearable.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

INVITADO--GUEST.© Carlos de la Parra. ( Spanish and English versions) Clic down here and in our twin site to read more.

Era una casita perfecta junto a un lago a donde Valentín fué a pasar una semana como invitado y ahí la familia de su novia le atendió con esmero y pudo darse cuenta que en todas las comidas se volvía a relatar una serie de sucesos del pasado, todos de naturaleza cotidiana y carentes de cualquier extremo o sorpresa, y que además atraía la atención intensa de los presentes como si ésta fuese la primera vez que lo escuchasen. Algo así como un paso de revista familiar, tan aburrido todo ésto que salió huyendo una tarde sin despedirse y con la clara conciencia de que las personas que pertenecen a grupos aburridos no se aburren entre sí, les basta con aburrir a los demás.
Ésto explica porqué todos los que leemos ésto hemos sufrido algo parecido.

ENGLISH VERSION.

It was the perfect little house by the lake owned by his fianceés family and he would spend a week as a guest .
At mealtimes he became aware that all her relatives tended to repeat the same memories and that every instance recalled was devoid of any surprise or interesting fact. As if they were all taking part in an ancestry roll call, but curiously everyone's attention remained focused and attentive as if this were the first time they heard about it.
He became so bored with these people that on the third day he fled without saying goodbye or expressing any gratitude for the hospitality.
It was now cristal clear to him that boring groups do not bore each other, they just do that to the rest of us.
This may now explain to everyone reading this had to suffer through something similar.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

INFALIBLE.© Carlos de la Parra. ( Spanish and English versions) Clic down for more.

Pasó la mejor parte de su juventud dibujando intensamente contra la oposición familiar, cuyos miembros habían vaticinado que acabaría pasando hambres.
Pero al entrar en la madurez dejó de ilustrar para muchas publicaciones y comenzó a prosperar despacio pero seguro. Más de una vez sacó a todos de apuros y siempre veía de obsequiarles una cuantiosa ayuda cuando regresaba de sus viajes. Poco a poco fué reuniendo una pequeña fortuna en fincas de renta e inversiones.
Culminó en comprar un pequeño hotel con restaurante en una zona de playa a donde dió empleo a todos sus parientes.
Y acabó sus días muy feliz dirigiendo sus empresas. Ya no viajaría más decidió. Ni tomaría más riesgos.
A pesar de que los billetes de cien dólares le quedaban perfectos.

ENGLISH VERSION.

He spent most of his youth drawing illustrations  for a living.
He did not stop being firm to his vocation to pen and ink in spite of catching hell from every member of the family whom insisted he get a real job.
Approaching close to middle age he started to travel and work for himself only.
No more deadlines with books and magazines.
He would always return from his travels and help his relatives out more than once with considerable sums of money.
He was frugal with his own expenses and was able to buy rental properties, which in time brought him enough revenue to acquire a small tourist spa by the sea. In this place he employed his entire family and ran his bussiness wisely. As he prospered he quit traveling. He found his haven and wanted no more risk. From now on he would keep making his bussiness grow. In spite of the fact that his hundred dollar bills were absolutely perfect.

Monday, December 6, 2010

INVENTOR.© Carlos de la Parra. (Versiones Español e Inglés) English version clic down.

¿Porqué se ensañaba con él éste científico loco que le dió a probar el chicle que causó que se soldásen sus dientes impidiéndole abrir la boca para gritar siquiera?
¿En que consistía el perverso instinto de hacerle ésto precisamente a él quien carecía de brazos y piernas?
¿Que existirá tras el vitriólico sentido del humor que demostró a carcajadas cuando lo ató a una cometa y ahora lo tenía volando enmedio del abismo rodeado por la cantera de mármol?
Dejó de preguntarse tantas cosas cuando el viento feroz rompió el cordón y lo disparó entre el eco de las risas hacia las rocas.

ENGLISH VERSION.

Why was he chosen by the mad scientist who made him chew the gum that glued his teeth together preventing him to scream for help?
How could someone posess so much perversion as to pick on a guy like him who happened to be an amputee of both arms and legs?
What hid behind such vitriolic sense of humor as to emit a roar of laughter after tying this helpless person to a kite as he made him soar into flight in the midst of the abyss surrounded by a marble quarry?
He stopped asking so many questions in his mind when the fierce wind tore the string shooting him towards the  rocks, as he listened to the laughing echo.

Friday, December 3, 2010

CRISIS--- © Carlos de la Parra. (Spanish and english versions, clic down to read)

La policía  le buscaba debido a numerosos reportes de exhibición indecente en vía pública y en estaciones del metro. En otras ocasiones ponía en estado de shock a las beatas que salían de la iglesia y quedaban paralizadas viéndolo con ojos saltones.
Al capturarlo in fraganti exponiendo sus partes íntimas a los pasajeros del tren central que ya había cerrado puertas y avanzaba, se investigó su modus operandi.
Era el del clásico "flashador", o "flasher", un tipo que bajo la gabardina había cosido los extremos de las piernas del pantalón para aparentar estar vestido, pero que al abir en par el gabán  sorprendía a quienes pasaban con un repentino mostrar de una erección descomunal e inesperada.
Una vez en el banquillo de interrogatorio el inspector policiaco le preguntó al mozalbete veinteañero.
----¿ Y porqué lo haces?---
El joven capturado respondió con sencillez:
---Porque no tengo dinero.---

ENGLISH VERSION.

The police had reports on him for indecent exposure all over the city.
He operated mostly at subway stations and many times he would flash an erection at the pious ladies as they left church on the way home.
He was the classical flasher with the ends of his pant legs sewn at the bottom of a Bogart trenchcoat to give the appearance of being in full dress ,only to flash open the coat at the least expected moment.
He got caught at Central station as he was showing himself to all the passengers when the train advanced.
Once they had him under the lights for the interview, the police inspector asked the youth:
---Why do you do that?---
The captured boy said plainly:
----Because I had no money.-----