La noche de Cancún topó a la joven pareja y se apoderó de ellos en la recámara, y ahí encerrados, los protegió de todo pesar y angustia llevándolos al paraíso de dos cuerpos y dos almas en la suave danza de la entrega total. Los placeres disfrutados rebasaron la mera furia del desahogo animal y flotaron en un trance inolvidable. El cuerpo de estatua de mujer perfecta de ella quedó tostándose al sol sobre gigantesca toalla en la terraza frente al mar turquesa, mientras seguían celebrando el encuentro con caricias exquisitas. Sus mentes sublimadas por las delicias recibidas, advirtieron que se habían hecho cómplices de no corromper los instantes vividos con conversaciones ni formulismos, simplemente se aceptaron sin estudiarse a través de la palabra , ni de los ritos sociales de cortejo, les bastó con entregarse al gran sentimiento que causó el encontrarse él con ella.
Al terminar los días de asueto ambos reingresaron a la senda que cada uno tenía encarrerada y plantada de deberes, ella con su instituto de yoga en el Distrito Federal de México, él con su carrera de actor que lo llevaba a Puerto Rico para la película y de ahí a Nueva York para avanzar en su medio, y había que despedirse y quedar el uno para el otro como un recuerdo muy amado.
Al momento del adiós en el aeropuerto, ella hizo una pregunta antes de partir rumbos:
-----¿Y si saliera yo embarazada, como nombraríamos al bebé?----
----Pónle Bogart.----
----¿Así te llamas tú?----
----No, así se llamaba mi actor favorito.----
-----¿ Y porqué no ponerle tu nombre?----
----Porque yo soy estéril.------
ENGLISH VERSION.
The Cancun night posessed the young couple beyond their expectations. A passion with no need for words, nor even for a semblance of a courtship ritual, no dating or going out to dance.
A sweet, resplandescent , mesmerizing phenomenon of body magnetics; just to give that loving rapture a name; wrapped around them melting any kind of resistance; it all became skins and flesh transmitting warmth, and a cascade of kissing and caressing in every possible sort of body and spirit pleasure and delight.
A sexual encounter one could call fit for angels had them floating in bed for hours, charging them with an energy of bliss neither one knew existed.
When the holiday weekend ended, they found themselves bound to the dharma of their own careers,; she had to fly to Mexico City to run her yoga Institute; he had to go to New York to complete his next step of destiny in his actor's career.
As they sipped on refreshments at the airport bar before their flights, somehow she came up with a question:
----If I were pregnant, what would you want the baby's name to be?----
----Name him Bogart.---- he said.
----Is that your name?---- she asked.
-----No. That's the name of my favorite actor. I'm sterile.---
Friday, December 2, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
GUARDIAN. © Carlos de la Parra. Clic down for english version.
---Doctor, sufro pesadillas horribles. Sueño que me quedo dormido en el turno de guardia, y que lucho por despertarme y no puedo.---
----No soy su doctor, soy el comandante , y puede irse a su casa a seguir durmiendo porque está despedido.----
ENGLISH VERSION.
---Doctor, I dream horrible nightmares about sleeping on guard duty, and not being able to wake up.---
----I'm not your doctor, I'm your commander and you can go home to sleep because you're fired.---
----No soy su doctor, soy el comandante , y puede irse a su casa a seguir durmiendo porque está despedido.----
ENGLISH VERSION.
---Doctor, I dream horrible nightmares about sleeping on guard duty, and not being able to wake up.---
----I'm not your doctor, I'm your commander and you can go home to sleep because you're fired.---
Sunday, November 13, 2011
ENIGMA. ©Carlos de la Parra.
Con la mano libre escribió: La masa con la que preparaba las galletas me esta tragando viva...
A pesar de que encontraron el recado, fué imposible desgalletizarla.
ENGLISH VERSION.
She wrote with her free hand : The cookie dough is swallowing me alive...
Even though they found her message, it was impossible to uncookie her.
A pesar de que encontraron el recado, fué imposible desgalletizarla.
ENGLISH VERSION.
She wrote with her free hand : The cookie dough is swallowing me alive...
Even though they found her message, it was impossible to uncookie her.
Monday, October 24, 2011
MENTAL. ©Carlos de la Parra. clic down for english version. Comienza versión en español de ésta neurotizante historia.
Kransky ha preparado el terreno para eliminar al compañero nuevo que regresó de la misión en Zumaskistán. Me ha dado intrucciones de crear una distracción por medio de ir al gran café del centro donde siempre hay una docena de tipos en la barra intensos en componer el mundo pero que jamás hacen nada más allá de reunirse a diatribar en estilo Sócrático en el mismo lugar.
Una vez sentado yo en la barra inicio un par de discusiones extremas con temas provocadores como el madrismo. No la maternidad aclaro, sino refutar las virtudes universales de la madre, especialmente negando que le deben todo a la progenitora por meramente traerlos al mundo. Cité varios casos de mater terribilis que habían actuado siempre contra el hijo hasta casi destrozarlo emocionalmente cuando no físicamente y cuestioné cual era lo defendible ante la única virtud de haber eyectado a un ser por la vagina.
Ésto ciertamente que la armó. Causando que se formasen dos facciones y que alguien llegase hasta los golpes. La misión se cumplió. Nadie ahí podría olvidar mi presencia en ése día y a ésa hora. Especialmente por lo insólito de que pagué el café de todos.
Mientras ésto sucedía Kramsky había enviado a ejecutar al susodicho por medio de otro agente de entera discreción, y a quien le hicieron una cirujía plástica para verse como mi exacto doble, cayendo así los señalamientos de culpa sobre mí.
Más a ésa hora estaban presentes cuantos me vieron en la discusión. Para más borrado de rastro, al terminar la ejecución, sacarán a mi doble en una ambulancia después de fingir un infarto posterior a decapitar a nuestro colega. Y coronando a dejar un panorama inmaculado, a mi doble lo recibieron en el interior del vehículo con una inyección del adiós.
El procedimiento tenía la limpieza acostumbrada.
Como nunca he confiado en Kramsky completamente, antes de salir del café entré al baño y me quité la piel falsa de plástico que cubría mi cara y la cual todos en la agencia creían que era mi verdadera faz.Me disfracé de recolector de basura con lentes oscuros y tapabocas, Salí discretamente por la ventana y me reuní con mi perro que estaba ahí para alertarme.
Lo que generó más mi desconfianza fué que accedió a pagarme lo que pedí y por adelantado. Luego tiró un rollo un tanto hueco acerca de la importancia de éste trabajo. En éste negocio no se sobrevive sin buen oído musical.
Ahora cruzo la frontera oculto entre la carga de un camión de gallinas, libre, cargado de dinero yendo hacia un mundo a donde nadie sabe quien soy yo, ni mi perro.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The mission was to waste the fellow agent who just came back from Zumakistan.
Kramsky explained how the operation should flow as to leave no tracks.
My instructions were to make sure I was remembered at the cofee shop where all these guys sat together to discuss all the possible ways to change the world into a better place, but each of them never took a single step beyond talking, yiping and whining. The task was an easy one. All I needed to do was bring up a controversial subject, so I picked motherism, not motherhood mind you, but motherism. One more fundamental ism where people affirm they owe everything to their mothers. And be granted there are some incredible, heroic,loving and whatnot mothers; but I brought up the character of mother terribilis, the ultimate destructive mommie dearest,and stated the doubt of granting any one total credit just for the fact she ejected someone out of the vagina. And this really warmed up the crowd, dividing them in two or three opinion groups and quite a lot of shouting and a fist fight. To crown my impression I paid for everyone's tab. Some of them could hate me, but not forget me.
While this was taking place Kramsky's team of very best operators led by the hit man who happened to be my identical double helped by a great job of facial surgery, and with a masterful swing of a japanese sword separated our coworker from his head, thus closing any possible security breach about what took place in Zumakistan. To deep cleanse the operation my double feigned a heart attack and was taken out by ambulance, where to his surprise they whacked him with an injection that would confirm the heart attack.
The plan was quite standard, but somehow I didn't trust Kramsky, so after I played my part at the coffee shop, I went into the men's room and out the window disguised as a waste collector with mouth cover and dark goggles, and joined my trained dog who waited outside to alert me. Previous to that I removed my latex face and felt great relief no one in the agency knew my real appearance.
What made me wary was the way he paid my asking price up front and gave me some hollow bullshit about how important this move was. In this bussiness you need a musical ear to survive.
I was so relieved as I crossed the border hiding amidst a chicken truck; free, anonimous and loaded with enough money to grant me some extended traveling time until I figured a new direction in life.
And to my fortune no one could ever recognize me or my dog.
Una vez sentado yo en la barra inicio un par de discusiones extremas con temas provocadores como el madrismo. No la maternidad aclaro, sino refutar las virtudes universales de la madre, especialmente negando que le deben todo a la progenitora por meramente traerlos al mundo. Cité varios casos de mater terribilis que habían actuado siempre contra el hijo hasta casi destrozarlo emocionalmente cuando no físicamente y cuestioné cual era lo defendible ante la única virtud de haber eyectado a un ser por la vagina.
Ésto ciertamente que la armó. Causando que se formasen dos facciones y que alguien llegase hasta los golpes. La misión se cumplió. Nadie ahí podría olvidar mi presencia en ése día y a ésa hora. Especialmente por lo insólito de que pagué el café de todos.
Mientras ésto sucedía Kramsky había enviado a ejecutar al susodicho por medio de otro agente de entera discreción, y a quien le hicieron una cirujía plástica para verse como mi exacto doble, cayendo así los señalamientos de culpa sobre mí.
Más a ésa hora estaban presentes cuantos me vieron en la discusión. Para más borrado de rastro, al terminar la ejecución, sacarán a mi doble en una ambulancia después de fingir un infarto posterior a decapitar a nuestro colega. Y coronando a dejar un panorama inmaculado, a mi doble lo recibieron en el interior del vehículo con una inyección del adiós.
El procedimiento tenía la limpieza acostumbrada.
Como nunca he confiado en Kramsky completamente, antes de salir del café entré al baño y me quité la piel falsa de plástico que cubría mi cara y la cual todos en la agencia creían que era mi verdadera faz.Me disfracé de recolector de basura con lentes oscuros y tapabocas, Salí discretamente por la ventana y me reuní con mi perro que estaba ahí para alertarme.
Lo que generó más mi desconfianza fué que accedió a pagarme lo que pedí y por adelantado. Luego tiró un rollo un tanto hueco acerca de la importancia de éste trabajo. En éste negocio no se sobrevive sin buen oído musical.
Ahora cruzo la frontera oculto entre la carga de un camión de gallinas, libre, cargado de dinero yendo hacia un mundo a donde nadie sabe quien soy yo, ni mi perro.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The mission was to waste the fellow agent who just came back from Zumakistan.
Kramsky explained how the operation should flow as to leave no tracks.
My instructions were to make sure I was remembered at the cofee shop where all these guys sat together to discuss all the possible ways to change the world into a better place, but each of them never took a single step beyond talking, yiping and whining. The task was an easy one. All I needed to do was bring up a controversial subject, so I picked motherism, not motherhood mind you, but motherism. One more fundamental ism where people affirm they owe everything to their mothers. And be granted there are some incredible, heroic,loving and whatnot mothers; but I brought up the character of mother terribilis, the ultimate destructive mommie dearest,and stated the doubt of granting any one total credit just for the fact she ejected someone out of the vagina. And this really warmed up the crowd, dividing them in two or three opinion groups and quite a lot of shouting and a fist fight. To crown my impression I paid for everyone's tab. Some of them could hate me, but not forget me.
While this was taking place Kramsky's team of very best operators led by the hit man who happened to be my identical double helped by a great job of facial surgery, and with a masterful swing of a japanese sword separated our coworker from his head, thus closing any possible security breach about what took place in Zumakistan. To deep cleanse the operation my double feigned a heart attack and was taken out by ambulance, where to his surprise they whacked him with an injection that would confirm the heart attack.
The plan was quite standard, but somehow I didn't trust Kramsky, so after I played my part at the coffee shop, I went into the men's room and out the window disguised as a waste collector with mouth cover and dark goggles, and joined my trained dog who waited outside to alert me. Previous to that I removed my latex face and felt great relief no one in the agency knew my real appearance.
What made me wary was the way he paid my asking price up front and gave me some hollow bullshit about how important this move was. In this bussiness you need a musical ear to survive.
I was so relieved as I crossed the border hiding amidst a chicken truck; free, anonimous and loaded with enough money to grant me some extended traveling time until I figured a new direction in life.
And to my fortune no one could ever recognize me or my dog.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
ROCKETSHIP---ASTRONAVE.© Carlos de la Parra.---Clic down for english version.
Aterrizó la nave habiendo cruzado un gigantesco agujero negro espacial.
Había hecho el descenso en un parque donde trotaban los atletas.
Cruzó la avenida y entró a un restaurante donde el total de lo que ofrecían en el menú era elaborado exclusivamente con ingredientes plásticos. Había llegado al futuro.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He travelled across a huge blackhole in space. He made his descent at a park where joggers exercised.
He crossed the avenue and went into a restaurant where the entire menu was prepared with plastic ingredients. He had arrived at the future.
Había hecho el descenso en un parque donde trotaban los atletas.
Cruzó la avenida y entró a un restaurante donde el total de lo que ofrecían en el menú era elaborado exclusivamente con ingredientes plásticos. Había llegado al futuro.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He travelled across a huge blackhole in space. He made his descent at a park where joggers exercised.
He crossed the avenue and went into a restaurant where the entire menu was prepared with plastic ingredients. He had arrived at the future.
Friday, October 7, 2011
OSO---BEAR. © Carlos de la Parra, ( clic down to read English version ).
Llegó un oso gritando : ---Sáquenme de aquí, sáquenme de aquí.----
Y los turistas que visitaban la reserva lo tomaron de la mano y lo sacaron a la calle.
Y nadie advirtió de que se había tragado entero al que gritaba.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A bear came towards the crowd yelling:---Get me out of here, get me out of here.---
And the tourists that walked by the park came to his rescue and took him by the hand and walked him out to the street.
And no one noticed that he had swallowed the guy that was yelling.
Y los turistas que visitaban la reserva lo tomaron de la mano y lo sacaron a la calle.
Y nadie advirtió de que se había tragado entero al que gritaba.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A bear came towards the crowd yelling:---Get me out of here, get me out of here.---
And the tourists that walked by the park came to his rescue and took him by the hand and walked him out to the street.
And no one noticed that he had swallowed the guy that was yelling.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
DETECTIVE.© Carlos de la Parra. (SPANISH, CLIC DOWN FOR ENGLISH).
La dulce ancianita abrió la puerta de la pensión que administraba e hizo pasar al detective.
Éste hombre de toscas facciones le informó con desprecio:
----Señora Bruckheimer, tengo el placer de arrestarla, tenemos las pruebas de que usted asesinó a los inspectores que vinieron antes de mí.---
----Noooo, señor, usted se equivoca conmigo . Yo padezco de una enfermedad infecciosa extrema conocida como multi pelagrosis fulminante, para la cual he desarrollado anticuerpos,,, más cualquier persona que esté conmigo en la misma habitación se contagia y muere en minutos... podrá darse cuenta en cuanto sienta como éste virus le cierra la tráquea y lo sofoque hasta morir.---
Y dicho ésto soltó una extraña carcajada que provocó que las moscas en la habitación cayeran de sus juguetones vuelos.
---Çonmigo se ha equivocado de los pies a la cabeza, señora Bruckheimer. No me intimida su amenaza de contagio, a mí no me va a convertir en fertilizante para rosas, como a los demás , preparado para éso; estoy presente únicamente en forma de holograma---
--- Y ¿Qué se creyó usted que se iba a encontrar a una viejita senil quien se dejaría arrestar así nomás?
No sea idiota, yo también estoy presente en forma de holograma.---
Y éstas imágenes holográficas quedaron ahí congeladas, en lo que ambos calculaban su siguiente acción ,desde vaya usted a saber donde o en cual dimensión del universo se encontraban corpóreamente, o si alguno de ellos era meramente virtual para despistar de algo peor.
ENGLISH VERSION FOLLOWS.(clic down)
The sweet elderly lady that ran the boarding house opened the door responding to the chimes.
She welcomed the detective inside. The man had a face like the before in a clearasil commertial, and blurted out in spite:
---You are under arrest Mrs.Bruckheimer. I'm bringing you in for the murder of the previous detectives that came to investigate you about all the bodies you planted in the backyard to fertilize the roses.---
---Noooo way sponge face, ...Did you expect to find a senile woman that would give up without a fight?... You see,that won't be necessary, you will become plant food for the tomatoes in minutes. I happen to ail from a deadly contagious disease known as fulminating multi pellagrosis, I am immune to it, but you will soon be in the company of your co workers. The virus is about to begin to close down your trachea causing you to flip about like a fish out of water.---
Right after saying this she exploded in twisted laughter, so loud and shrieking sounding that the flies that flew playfully around the room dropped dead right off the air.
----You are after all just another stupid criminal Mrs Bruckheimer. We figured out your game , and I'm not here in bodily presence as it appears to the eye, but in a holographic image to avoid your cruddy germs.---
---I give up expecting any brilliance from the like of your particular monkey species, ...sorry to dissapoint you but my own presence happens to be as holographic as yours.---
And both holographic images froze up staring at each other, while the real persons behind them were busy anticipating their next move, who knows where, or from which dimension in the universe and to cover up who knows what.
Éste hombre de toscas facciones le informó con desprecio:
----Señora Bruckheimer, tengo el placer de arrestarla, tenemos las pruebas de que usted asesinó a los inspectores que vinieron antes de mí.---
----Noooo, señor, usted se equivoca conmigo . Yo padezco de una enfermedad infecciosa extrema conocida como multi pelagrosis fulminante, para la cual he desarrollado anticuerpos,,, más cualquier persona que esté conmigo en la misma habitación se contagia y muere en minutos... podrá darse cuenta en cuanto sienta como éste virus le cierra la tráquea y lo sofoque hasta morir.---
Y dicho ésto soltó una extraña carcajada que provocó que las moscas en la habitación cayeran de sus juguetones vuelos.
---Çonmigo se ha equivocado de los pies a la cabeza, señora Bruckheimer. No me intimida su amenaza de contagio, a mí no me va a convertir en fertilizante para rosas, como a los demás , preparado para éso; estoy presente únicamente en forma de holograma---
--- Y ¿Qué se creyó usted que se iba a encontrar a una viejita senil quien se dejaría arrestar así nomás?
No sea idiota, yo también estoy presente en forma de holograma.---
Y éstas imágenes holográficas quedaron ahí congeladas, en lo que ambos calculaban su siguiente acción ,desde vaya usted a saber donde o en cual dimensión del universo se encontraban corpóreamente, o si alguno de ellos era meramente virtual para despistar de algo peor.
ENGLISH VERSION FOLLOWS.(clic down)
The sweet elderly lady that ran the boarding house opened the door responding to the chimes.
She welcomed the detective inside. The man had a face like the before in a clearasil commertial, and blurted out in spite:
---You are under arrest Mrs.Bruckheimer. I'm bringing you in for the murder of the previous detectives that came to investigate you about all the bodies you planted in the backyard to fertilize the roses.---
---Noooo way sponge face, ...Did you expect to find a senile woman that would give up without a fight?... You see,that won't be necessary, you will become plant food for the tomatoes in minutes. I happen to ail from a deadly contagious disease known as fulminating multi pellagrosis, I am immune to it, but you will soon be in the company of your co workers. The virus is about to begin to close down your trachea causing you to flip about like a fish out of water.---
Right after saying this she exploded in twisted laughter, so loud and shrieking sounding that the flies that flew playfully around the room dropped dead right off the air.
----You are after all just another stupid criminal Mrs Bruckheimer. We figured out your game , and I'm not here in bodily presence as it appears to the eye, but in a holographic image to avoid your cruddy germs.---
---I give up expecting any brilliance from the like of your particular monkey species, ...sorry to dissapoint you but my own presence happens to be as holographic as yours.---
And both holographic images froze up staring at each other, while the real persons behind them were busy anticipating their next move, who knows where, or from which dimension in the universe and to cover up who knows what.
Friday, September 30, 2011
COMENTARIO--COMMENT. ©Carlos de la Parra. (clic down to read english version.)
Narró su micro relato con sólo cinco palabras.
En comentarios de su blog apareció el de un lector que opinó tomando una extensión del doble de palabras contenidas en " La guerra y la paz " de Tolstoy .
Al responder a ésto tan detallado, el cual tardó dos semanas en leerlo; el autor respondió:
---Excelente,---
ENGLISH VERSION FOLLOWS:
He wrote a five word count micro story.
In his blog comments, he found one that was double the length of words printed in Tolstoy's " War and peace," It took him two weeks to read it completely. To which the author's response was: ---Excelent.--
En comentarios de su blog apareció el de un lector que opinó tomando una extensión del doble de palabras contenidas en " La guerra y la paz " de Tolstoy .
Al responder a ésto tan detallado, el cual tardó dos semanas en leerlo; el autor respondió:
---Excelente,---
ENGLISH VERSION FOLLOWS:
He wrote a five word count micro story.
In his blog comments, he found one that was double the length of words printed in Tolstoy's " War and peace," It took him two weeks to read it completely. To which the author's response was: ---Excelent.--
Friday, September 23, 2011
STATUS QUO. © Carlos de la Parra> ( clic down for english, versión en español haga clic haci abajo para inglés)
Un día decidió abadonar la locura e instalarse por completo en la cordura.
Pero ser cuerdo implicaba entrar en tanta precisión y armonía de parámetros no claramente definidos, que acabó volviéndose totalmente loco.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A day came when he decided to abandon any kind of madness and to enter a complete state of sanity.
But being sane implied so many precisions and a harmony of limits not so accurately defined, that it simply drove him crazy.
Pero ser cuerdo implicaba entrar en tanta precisión y armonía de parámetros no claramente definidos, que acabó volviéndose totalmente loco.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A day came when he decided to abandon any kind of madness and to enter a complete state of sanity.
But being sane implied so many precisions and a harmony of limits not so accurately defined, that it simply drove him crazy.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
ALCOHOL. © Carlos de la Parra. (clic down for english version.)
Parece ser que regresar al hotel en Nueva York y encontrar en el lobby a un borracho que le habla a las plantas es lugar común, pensó el Dalai Lama; al verlo ahí cual si charlase con un amigo.
Pero en ése momento entró en un trance al salirse del cuerpo y vió que las plantas le contestaban al ebrio. Discretamente subió al elevador fingiendo que los ignoraba.
ENGLISH VERSION.
It seems to be common place in New York to come back to yor hotel at 4.a.m. and find a drunk in the lobby talking to the plants, pondered the Dalai Lama , as he saw this man who seemed to be in conversation with a friend.
But right then and there he went into an out of body experience and saw the plants saying something to the drunken man. He discreetly got into the elevator pretending not to notice.
Pero en ése momento entró en un trance al salirse del cuerpo y vió que las plantas le contestaban al ebrio. Discretamente subió al elevador fingiendo que los ignoraba.
ENGLISH VERSION.
It seems to be common place in New York to come back to yor hotel at 4.a.m. and find a drunk in the lobby talking to the plants, pondered the Dalai Lama , as he saw this man who seemed to be in conversation with a friend.
But right then and there he went into an out of body experience and saw the plants saying something to the drunken man. He discreetly got into the elevator pretending not to notice.
Friday, August 26, 2011
S.O.S. © Carlos de la Parra. bilingual blog. ( clic down for english versions on all stories.)
El santón gurú que les había guiado hacia el oasis del desierto, sacó una cazuela de la alforja del camello , y pidió a todos los viajeros que se preparásen algo de comer.
Al no ver por ahí algún tipo de comestible alrededor de la fosa con agua, el sacó un machete y pidió que le amputásen una pierna y la preparásen con unas especies y que se repartieran ésta extremidad para comer, pues por ahí no había ninguna otra opción aparte de morir de hambre.
Horrorizados ante tal sugerencia, opinaron que era preferible comerse al camello. Pero el santo se opuso haciéndoles saber que , uno, el camello era en realidad su propia madre que le sigue acompañando ahora reencarnada en ésta forma animal. Dos,el camello podría viajar sólo a través del desierto y traer ayuda de una lejana tribu.
Al principio todos protestaron, pero el santo les explicó que su cuerpo era incorruptible, pues llevaba años consumiendo prana por vía respiratoria, logrando así la total purificación de su organismo.
Al paso de los días pudo más la voz del hambre y obedecieron y saciaron su apetito.
El bizarro donante de órganos jamás se quejó, ni mostró muecas de dolor al llevarse a cabo el corte; y hasta ayudó en la cocción de su personal barbacoa humana.
Éste ritual se fué repitiendo en forma semanal, ayer se comieron la cabeza; que era lo último que les quedaba del ahora cadáver.
Hoy se les alborotó el apetito por comentar que buen sabor tenían la lengua y los cachetes; y acordaron prepararse un caldito con los huesos.
El camello jamás regresó.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The holy man who led the group to the oasis asked everyone to get some food and eat. Since there was nothing edible all around the water hole, he pulled out a machete and a pot from the camel's bags, and requested that they amputate his own leg , and cook it with some spices to feed the travelers.
All men and women protested horrified at the mere thought, and suggested to instead eat the camel; but the saint explained this could not be done, one, because the camel happened to be his own mother who had reincarnated into this animal, and , two, because the beast would travel by herself and bring rescue from one of the distant dessert tribes.
For many days they all fasted, but the guru argued that his person would make the best food, since for years he had not taken a single bite, and that his body was in total state of purity from inhaling the prana in the air to survive.
It was finally the voice of hunger that convinced them to feed from the holy one. He never uttered the least complaint or moan about his fate; but even helped in preparing this human barbeque.
As weeks advanced they would ration more parts of this generous donor's anatomy.
Yesterday they ate the head of what was now a corpse.
Today every one of them spoke about how the cheeks and the tongue had been so tasty.
All that talk made them so hungry today they're boiling the skeleton for soup.
The camel never came back.
Al no ver por ahí algún tipo de comestible alrededor de la fosa con agua, el sacó un machete y pidió que le amputásen una pierna y la preparásen con unas especies y que se repartieran ésta extremidad para comer, pues por ahí no había ninguna otra opción aparte de morir de hambre.
Horrorizados ante tal sugerencia, opinaron que era preferible comerse al camello. Pero el santo se opuso haciéndoles saber que , uno, el camello era en realidad su propia madre que le sigue acompañando ahora reencarnada en ésta forma animal. Dos,el camello podría viajar sólo a través del desierto y traer ayuda de una lejana tribu.
Al principio todos protestaron, pero el santo les explicó que su cuerpo era incorruptible, pues llevaba años consumiendo prana por vía respiratoria, logrando así la total purificación de su organismo.
Al paso de los días pudo más la voz del hambre y obedecieron y saciaron su apetito.
El bizarro donante de órganos jamás se quejó, ni mostró muecas de dolor al llevarse a cabo el corte; y hasta ayudó en la cocción de su personal barbacoa humana.
Éste ritual se fué repitiendo en forma semanal, ayer se comieron la cabeza; que era lo último que les quedaba del ahora cadáver.
Hoy se les alborotó el apetito por comentar que buen sabor tenían la lengua y los cachetes; y acordaron prepararse un caldito con los huesos.
El camello jamás regresó.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The holy man who led the group to the oasis asked everyone to get some food and eat. Since there was nothing edible all around the water hole, he pulled out a machete and a pot from the camel's bags, and requested that they amputate his own leg , and cook it with some spices to feed the travelers.
All men and women protested horrified at the mere thought, and suggested to instead eat the camel; but the saint explained this could not be done, one, because the camel happened to be his own mother who had reincarnated into this animal, and , two, because the beast would travel by herself and bring rescue from one of the distant dessert tribes.
For many days they all fasted, but the guru argued that his person would make the best food, since for years he had not taken a single bite, and that his body was in total state of purity from inhaling the prana in the air to survive.
It was finally the voice of hunger that convinced them to feed from the holy one. He never uttered the least complaint or moan about his fate; but even helped in preparing this human barbeque.
As weeks advanced they would ration more parts of this generous donor's anatomy.
Yesterday they ate the head of what was now a corpse.
Today every one of them spoke about how the cheeks and the tongue had been so tasty.
All that talk made them so hungry today they're boiling the skeleton for soup.
The camel never came back.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
POPULAR. © Carlos de la Parra. ESPAÑOL+ ENGLISH version, clic down to read.
Don Bernardo poseía juntas en su persona las fuerzas del físico y del intelecto, cultivando ambas a diario para mantenerse afilado. Esto lo hacía como un deber ineludible. Al gimnasio y a la biblioteca. A la sala de debates y al salón de baile. A practicar artes marciales y también meditación.
Para equilibrar tanta disciplina tenía un pasatiempo, algo juguetón y hasta insensato , opinión de algunos, pero él se fugaba en la creación cinematográfica, con la extraña variante de filmar exclusivamente momentos en que algún ser se encuentra expuesto en el exacto momento defecatorio. Cagando, para el vulgo.
Perros cagando, haciendo su rígida postura tipo yoga y con la expresión seria en la cara. Gallinas que caminan y cagan sin esfuerzo alguno, y lo que nó filmó en el zoológico y en el campo.
En su documental comenzó a mostrar a sus amigas cagando, ellas ignoraban que las filmaba con una cámara oculta en el baño. Muchas de éstas imágenes acabaron siendo vendidas a mercados de video para mirones en China y en Japón, lo que le redituó muy buenos ingresos para acrecentar su equipo de filmación.
En los fines de semana comenzó a filmarse a sí mismo soltando unos buenos churros de caca durante algún deporte extremo. Desde la copa de un gigantesco arbol se veía a Bernardo aparecer desnudo con tremendo acercamiento en zoom que mostraba el instante en que eyectaba con presión un gran disparo de mierda.
Otras veces hacía lo mismo en parapent cagándose sobre algun mitin político o algún desfile para arrancar las risas de sus amistades al proyectarlas en reuniones.
Hoy está un poco triste. Alguien subió a youtube algunos de sus cortos privados, y le han suspendido como maestro de civismo en la escuela.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Bernie was endowed with top physical and mental qualities. He kept them finely honed. Always alternating sessions at the gym and the library. The debate hall and the martial arts practice, Dancing and meditation.
Forever staying sharp in body and mind.
How does a person like this deal with his own existential anxiety? Bernie had a hobby. Video and film making. He loved to entertain showing clips of a bizarre collection of various species performing the act of defecation. Taking a shit for the layman .
Dogs in that rigid yoga posture, with their serious faces as they took a dump. Chicken and hens going into their effortless droppings as they walked about. Priceless shots taken in zoos and fields. He put the right music to the scenes and his collection grew.
At a certain point in this fecal exposé he rigged the restrooms in his apartment and got great shots of all his girlfriends taking a good solid dump.
Some of these he sold to oriental markets consistent of collectors of scatological genre, and derived some good extra income to finance his film efforts even more.
He naturally drifted into extreme sports in which he would direct his crew to film him climbing up gigantic trees , to end with a zooming close up of the very moment he ejected a high pressured turd that scared the birds away.
Or parapenting over a town's political meeting , or a parade, and shit bombing the crowd.
Today, Bernie is a bit sad. It seems that someone put some of his private material on youtube and he got suspended at the school where he taught social science and civics.
Para equilibrar tanta disciplina tenía un pasatiempo, algo juguetón y hasta insensato , opinión de algunos, pero él se fugaba en la creación cinematográfica, con la extraña variante de filmar exclusivamente momentos en que algún ser se encuentra expuesto en el exacto momento defecatorio. Cagando, para el vulgo.
Perros cagando, haciendo su rígida postura tipo yoga y con la expresión seria en la cara. Gallinas que caminan y cagan sin esfuerzo alguno, y lo que nó filmó en el zoológico y en el campo.
En su documental comenzó a mostrar a sus amigas cagando, ellas ignoraban que las filmaba con una cámara oculta en el baño. Muchas de éstas imágenes acabaron siendo vendidas a mercados de video para mirones en China y en Japón, lo que le redituó muy buenos ingresos para acrecentar su equipo de filmación.
En los fines de semana comenzó a filmarse a sí mismo soltando unos buenos churros de caca durante algún deporte extremo. Desde la copa de un gigantesco arbol se veía a Bernardo aparecer desnudo con tremendo acercamiento en zoom que mostraba el instante en que eyectaba con presión un gran disparo de mierda.
Otras veces hacía lo mismo en parapent cagándose sobre algun mitin político o algún desfile para arrancar las risas de sus amistades al proyectarlas en reuniones.
Hoy está un poco triste. Alguien subió a youtube algunos de sus cortos privados, y le han suspendido como maestro de civismo en la escuela.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Bernie was endowed with top physical and mental qualities. He kept them finely honed. Always alternating sessions at the gym and the library. The debate hall and the martial arts practice, Dancing and meditation.
Forever staying sharp in body and mind.
How does a person like this deal with his own existential anxiety? Bernie had a hobby. Video and film making. He loved to entertain showing clips of a bizarre collection of various species performing the act of defecation. Taking a shit for the layman .
Dogs in that rigid yoga posture, with their serious faces as they took a dump. Chicken and hens going into their effortless droppings as they walked about. Priceless shots taken in zoos and fields. He put the right music to the scenes and his collection grew.
At a certain point in this fecal exposé he rigged the restrooms in his apartment and got great shots of all his girlfriends taking a good solid dump.
Some of these he sold to oriental markets consistent of collectors of scatological genre, and derived some good extra income to finance his film efforts even more.
He naturally drifted into extreme sports in which he would direct his crew to film him climbing up gigantic trees , to end with a zooming close up of the very moment he ejected a high pressured turd that scared the birds away.
Or parapenting over a town's political meeting , or a parade, and shit bombing the crowd.
Today, Bernie is a bit sad. It seems that someone put some of his private material on youtube and he got suspended at the school where he taught social science and civics.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
SEPT, 3001. ©Carlos de la Parra, (español-english versions. clic down to read in your language)
En la universidad global el profesor de robótica avanzada daba su cátedra a los de primer curso. Su voz grave y modulada emitía el siguiente discurso:
---El hombre es el robot de Dios, del hombre mismo tomábamos el modelo para los primeros robots, cuyas funciones eran simples y mecánicas. Hoy día el robot piensa, nos organiza y nos provee con un mundo mejor del que nosotros pudiésemos crear con nuestras limitaciones. Ya no hay hambre, ni injusticia social, ni sistema monetario que nos esclavice, Mucho menos un mundo administrado por políticos y conveniencias personales de oligarquías. Sánchez, deje de jugar en clase al ping pong con el robot o lo envío al departamento de experimentación para que prueben trasplantarle sus órganos a los modelos retro que necesitan para la exposición.---
---SÍ, usted disculpe profesor.---
ENGLISH VERSION
At the global university the professor rendered his lecture to first time students.His well modulated voice rang across the classroom as he delivered the standard speech.
---Man is the robot of God. Under this premise, ancient robotics developed our initial models. At that time they were built to perform some basic mechanical and funtional tasks. Nowadays this has all changed. The current robot organizes every area of our lives to our benefit. With it's superior thinking feature, a mentality beyond any human possibilities, it has ridden us of governments and politicians in which men and women joined up in gangs to serve the interests of the richest and most powerful minorities to subject us into fear, poverty and social injustice. The contemporary robot has brought about a world without borders or hunger or being enslaved by the monetary system.
Johnson, if you don't immediately stop playing ping pong in class with the robot I will send you to the experimental lab where they will turn you into an organ donor in order to build the retro models for the expo.---
----Yes sir, I apologize, won't happen again.---
---El hombre es el robot de Dios, del hombre mismo tomábamos el modelo para los primeros robots, cuyas funciones eran simples y mecánicas. Hoy día el robot piensa, nos organiza y nos provee con un mundo mejor del que nosotros pudiésemos crear con nuestras limitaciones. Ya no hay hambre, ni injusticia social, ni sistema monetario que nos esclavice, Mucho menos un mundo administrado por políticos y conveniencias personales de oligarquías. Sánchez, deje de jugar en clase al ping pong con el robot o lo envío al departamento de experimentación para que prueben trasplantarle sus órganos a los modelos retro que necesitan para la exposición.---
---SÍ, usted disculpe profesor.---
ENGLISH VERSION
At the global university the professor rendered his lecture to first time students.His well modulated voice rang across the classroom as he delivered the standard speech.
---Man is the robot of God. Under this premise, ancient robotics developed our initial models. At that time they were built to perform some basic mechanical and funtional tasks. Nowadays this has all changed. The current robot organizes every area of our lives to our benefit. With it's superior thinking feature, a mentality beyond any human possibilities, it has ridden us of governments and politicians in which men and women joined up in gangs to serve the interests of the richest and most powerful minorities to subject us into fear, poverty and social injustice. The contemporary robot has brought about a world without borders or hunger or being enslaved by the monetary system.
Johnson, if you don't immediately stop playing ping pong in class with the robot I will send you to the experimental lab where they will turn you into an organ donor in order to build the retro models for the expo.---
----Yes sir, I apologize, won't happen again.---
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
ANTIEGO.© Carlos de la Parra.
Todo le era tan ajeno , que en lugar de tener su propio yo, tenía su propio tú.
Su popularidad creció, pues en las entrevistas jamás hablaba de sí, a quien decía desconocer, sino de los demás, a quienes elogiaba y por los cuales sentía aprecio.
Lo último que se supo acerca de ella es que fué devorada por una manada de tigres en un zoológico.
ENGLISH VERSION
She lacked any sense of self , always considering the needs of others before her own.
Her popularity grew during interviews when she avoided speaking about herself and instead dealt with her peers affectionately.
The last thing we heard about her is that she was devoured by a pack of tigers at a zoo.
Su popularidad creció, pues en las entrevistas jamás hablaba de sí, a quien decía desconocer, sino de los demás, a quienes elogiaba y por los cuales sentía aprecio.
Lo último que se supo acerca de ella es que fué devorada por una manada de tigres en un zoológico.
ENGLISH VERSION
She lacked any sense of self , always considering the needs of others before her own.
Her popularity grew during interviews when she avoided speaking about herself and instead dealt with her peers affectionately.
The last thing we heard about her is that she was devoured by a pack of tigers at a zoo.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
CERO. ©Carlos de la Parra.( clic down for english. Comienza versión en español)
Me convenció un funcionario de una institución para sordos a presentarme en un auditorio para cantarles una aria de ópera. Al inicio me negaba a tomar parte en ésto debido a que no tengo conocimiento alguno del bel canto y ni siquiera una buena voz.
El argumento de quien me contrató era que jamás se darían cuenta de ésto pues ninguno podría oírme,
y que nos repartiríamos un jugoso presupuesto, y de presentar a un auténtico tenor, ni a él ni a mí nos convendría.
Al final de mi terrible rendición de "O sole mío", recibí una tremenda ovación de pié y con lágrimas de emoción de los espectadores.
La culpa fué creciendo en mí hasta quitarme el sueño por haber participado en éste fraude. Ya en grados de psicosis me presenté en el instituto de los sordos y a través de un intérprete de lenguaje de señas, les confesé mi impostura.
Para mi sorpresa me abrazaron y me consolaron diciéndome que no tenía porqué sentirme mal, que lo había hecho en forma excelente y había logrado que todos disfrutasen mi presentación.
Debido a ésto logré recuperar mi estabilidad emocional, y a pesar de tener dos pies izquierdos. ésta noche bailaré tango en el Instituto de los ciegos.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A government officer talked me into singing for an audience composed strictly with people that ailed from total hearing loss.
At first I tried to refuse on the grounds of my cero knowledge of bel canto added to total lack of musical or voice skills.
But he overwhelmed me with the arguments that no one would notice and that he would split even with me on a sizable budget which would otherwise land in a tenor's pockets.
It sort of made sense to avoid excluding myself from a payday, and much to my surprise after a terrible rendition of "O sole mio", I received a standing ovation with tears on everyone's eyes caused by my performance.
Guilt started to grow on me, increasingly choking my conscience and depriving me of sleep which shifted me into deep psychosis. So I decided to face it.
Once I showed up at the facilities where the deaf people gathered, my confession took place through a sign language interpreter. To my surprise I received hugs and kindness, everyone seemed to shrug it off as no big deal, and many expressed delight for a great show.
Such a shower of affection appeased my emotions, and in spite of the fact that I posses two left feet , next week I'll dance the tango at the association for the blind.
El argumento de quien me contrató era que jamás se darían cuenta de ésto pues ninguno podría oírme,
y que nos repartiríamos un jugoso presupuesto, y de presentar a un auténtico tenor, ni a él ni a mí nos convendría.
Al final de mi terrible rendición de "O sole mío", recibí una tremenda ovación de pié y con lágrimas de emoción de los espectadores.
La culpa fué creciendo en mí hasta quitarme el sueño por haber participado en éste fraude. Ya en grados de psicosis me presenté en el instituto de los sordos y a través de un intérprete de lenguaje de señas, les confesé mi impostura.
Para mi sorpresa me abrazaron y me consolaron diciéndome que no tenía porqué sentirme mal, que lo había hecho en forma excelente y había logrado que todos disfrutasen mi presentación.
Debido a ésto logré recuperar mi estabilidad emocional, y a pesar de tener dos pies izquierdos. ésta noche bailaré tango en el Instituto de los ciegos.
ENGLISH VERSION.
A government officer talked me into singing for an audience composed strictly with people that ailed from total hearing loss.
At first I tried to refuse on the grounds of my cero knowledge of bel canto added to total lack of musical or voice skills.
But he overwhelmed me with the arguments that no one would notice and that he would split even with me on a sizable budget which would otherwise land in a tenor's pockets.
It sort of made sense to avoid excluding myself from a payday, and much to my surprise after a terrible rendition of "O sole mio", I received a standing ovation with tears on everyone's eyes caused by my performance.
Guilt started to grow on me, increasingly choking my conscience and depriving me of sleep which shifted me into deep psychosis. So I decided to face it.
Once I showed up at the facilities where the deaf people gathered, my confession took place through a sign language interpreter. To my surprise I received hugs and kindness, everyone seemed to shrug it off as no big deal, and many expressed delight for a great show.
Such a shower of affection appeased my emotions, and in spite of the fact that I posses two left feet , next week I'll dance the tango at the association for the blind.
Friday, July 1, 2011
MICRO. © Carlos de la Parra. (ESPAÑOL and ENGLISH versions, clic down to read.)
El texto completo decía : AAAGGHH, ORK,ORK.
Los lectores se dividieron en dos facciones.
Unos opinaban que estallaba de dramatismo pues representaba a un individuo al ahogarse.
En cambio para los del otro grupo era motivo de celebrar pues les parecía escuchar un coro de focas.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The complete text read : AAAGGHH, ORK, ORK.
The readers formed two opposite opinions.
To the most conservative it represented a highly dramatic instance of an individual choking to death.
The other group celebrated what seemed to sing like a choir of seals.
Los lectores se dividieron en dos facciones.
Unos opinaban que estallaba de dramatismo pues representaba a un individuo al ahogarse.
En cambio para los del otro grupo era motivo de celebrar pues les parecía escuchar un coro de focas.
ENGLISH VERSION.
The complete text read : AAAGGHH, ORK, ORK.
The readers formed two opposite opinions.
To the most conservative it represented a highly dramatic instance of an individual choking to death.
The other group celebrated what seemed to sing like a choir of seals.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
CLONES.©Carlos de la Parra. Click down to read english version. Versión en español al inicio.
Greta y Morgan eran el matrimonio de científicos más avanzados en ingeniería genética.
Tenían el privilegio de trabajar desde su propio laboratorio en casa y como personas inteligentes habían detectado las instalaciones desde donde el gobierno los espiaba, y habían desactivado éste eufemísticamente llamado "monitoreo", suplantándolo con un ingenioso sistema de proyecciones en video a donde se les veía pasar las horas en la investigación de semillas transgénicas y animales verdura, una nueva especie de pollos que podían plantarse como semillas y a las tres semanas los tenías cacareando y en tres más listos para el horno.
Dicen que a los humanos no hay nada que nos atraiga más que lo prohibido.
Los superiores habían puesto en claro que a nadie se le permitiría jugar a Dios por su propia cuenta.
Ellos como personas concientes no querían crear al guerrero del futuro, y pasaron por alto participar en el programa Neo-Adán cuando fueron invitados aludiendo que no encontraban nuevas avenidas para clonar al humano, pero que de hacerlo aportarían los datos al departamento correspondiente.
Esto último no era pleno de exactitud.
Llevaban tiempo de haberse clonado ellos mismos. Fué maravilloso. Como beber de la propia fuente.
Comenzaron a utilizar a sus primeros clones para que los suplantaran en todo tipo de tareas pesadas.
Asistencia a congresos aburridos. Juntas del consejo científico. Hasta asuntillos tediosos como ir al banco o a declarar los impuestos.
Y así fué que se dedicaban al placer. A pasear al perro. A navegar en el yate. A la dolce vita.
Tuvieron que mudarse a una gigantesca mansión para ocultar a las 40 parejas de clonados que ya tenían.
Con un gran jardín para producir su pollo verdura y alimentar a todos.
Cada uno de los individuos copia que habían producido se supeditaba a cumplir con sus órdenes al pié de la letra y trabajaban gustosos por la comida.
Esto debe permanecer bajo total sigilo pues de enterarse el gobierno, de seguro harían mal uso de ésta función. Y el posible genocidio de los disidentes.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Greta and Morgan were the most advanced married couple working in the field of genetical engineering.
The government privileged them with a home laboratory, and intelligent as they were, they deactivated all the spy ware their bosses had installed . Called euphemistically "monitoring". They replaced this feature with a complex series of videos where they would appear to be involved full time in their food research program
Their main accomplishment was the vegetable chicken. A fowl species that grew from planting seeds on a special mix. In three weeks the chicks were running around and clucking. Three more weeks and they were table ready.
They say nothing attracts human so much as the forbidden fruit. The bosses had set a firm boundary.
No one gets to play God. Unsupervised, that is. And they objected in conscience to be part of production of species of warriors and other horrors.And declined taking part in the Neo- Adam research project when invited to join. They claimed to have reached a blockage in human artificial genetics, something about soul transmission that perhaps was a deity's exclusive field or natural selection if you prefer. But to hide their real intentions they agreed to report any new idea or finding they would happen to reach.
Which they knew was a gross inaccuracy as far as all the findings they kept in chryptic secrecy.
Truth is they had cloned their own selves years ago. It was marvelous. Drinking from their own fountain.
They would supplant theirselves with their own duplicates.
To assist a boring congress. To go to tedious meetings. Even for menial daily tasks like going to the bank or taking care of their taxes.
So their life turned into full pleasure mode. Yachting. Painting .Walking the dog. Partying and living the dolce vita.
They moved to a gigantic mansion to house the plus twenty couples of clones they had produced so far. With large farm areas to breed the vegetable chicken to feed everyone. A large underground garage would conceal the comig and going of the clones in glass tinted mini vans.
Each one of their identical copies was totally subordinated to them. They followed every order blindly and work full time just for the food and housing.
This should never come to the government's awareness. They could not put the rest of humanity under risk of missuse of their discoveries. Nor the imminent risk of genocide
Tenían el privilegio de trabajar desde su propio laboratorio en casa y como personas inteligentes habían detectado las instalaciones desde donde el gobierno los espiaba, y habían desactivado éste eufemísticamente llamado "monitoreo", suplantándolo con un ingenioso sistema de proyecciones en video a donde se les veía pasar las horas en la investigación de semillas transgénicas y animales verdura, una nueva especie de pollos que podían plantarse como semillas y a las tres semanas los tenías cacareando y en tres más listos para el horno.
Dicen que a los humanos no hay nada que nos atraiga más que lo prohibido.
Los superiores habían puesto en claro que a nadie se le permitiría jugar a Dios por su propia cuenta.
Ellos como personas concientes no querían crear al guerrero del futuro, y pasaron por alto participar en el programa Neo-Adán cuando fueron invitados aludiendo que no encontraban nuevas avenidas para clonar al humano, pero que de hacerlo aportarían los datos al departamento correspondiente.
Esto último no era pleno de exactitud.
Llevaban tiempo de haberse clonado ellos mismos. Fué maravilloso. Como beber de la propia fuente.
Comenzaron a utilizar a sus primeros clones para que los suplantaran en todo tipo de tareas pesadas.
Asistencia a congresos aburridos. Juntas del consejo científico. Hasta asuntillos tediosos como ir al banco o a declarar los impuestos.
Y así fué que se dedicaban al placer. A pasear al perro. A navegar en el yate. A la dolce vita.
Tuvieron que mudarse a una gigantesca mansión para ocultar a las 40 parejas de clonados que ya tenían.
Con un gran jardín para producir su pollo verdura y alimentar a todos.
Cada uno de los individuos copia que habían producido se supeditaba a cumplir con sus órdenes al pié de la letra y trabajaban gustosos por la comida.
Esto debe permanecer bajo total sigilo pues de enterarse el gobierno, de seguro harían mal uso de ésta función. Y el posible genocidio de los disidentes.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Greta and Morgan were the most advanced married couple working in the field of genetical engineering.
The government privileged them with a home laboratory, and intelligent as they were, they deactivated all the spy ware their bosses had installed . Called euphemistically "monitoring". They replaced this feature with a complex series of videos where they would appear to be involved full time in their food research program
Their main accomplishment was the vegetable chicken. A fowl species that grew from planting seeds on a special mix. In three weeks the chicks were running around and clucking. Three more weeks and they were table ready.
They say nothing attracts human so much as the forbidden fruit. The bosses had set a firm boundary.
No one gets to play God. Unsupervised, that is. And they objected in conscience to be part of production of species of warriors and other horrors.And declined taking part in the Neo- Adam research project when invited to join. They claimed to have reached a blockage in human artificial genetics, something about soul transmission that perhaps was a deity's exclusive field or natural selection if you prefer. But to hide their real intentions they agreed to report any new idea or finding they would happen to reach.
Which they knew was a gross inaccuracy as far as all the findings they kept in chryptic secrecy.
Truth is they had cloned their own selves years ago. It was marvelous. Drinking from their own fountain.
They would supplant theirselves with their own duplicates.
To assist a boring congress. To go to tedious meetings. Even for menial daily tasks like going to the bank or taking care of their taxes.
So their life turned into full pleasure mode. Yachting. Painting .Walking the dog. Partying and living the dolce vita.
They moved to a gigantic mansion to house the plus twenty couples of clones they had produced so far. With large farm areas to breed the vegetable chicken to feed everyone. A large underground garage would conceal the comig and going of the clones in glass tinted mini vans.
Each one of their identical copies was totally subordinated to them. They followed every order blindly and work full time just for the food and housing.
This should never come to the government's awareness. They could not put the rest of humanity under risk of missuse of their discoveries. Nor the imminent risk of genocide
Friday, June 17, 2011
MONTERROSO.© Carlos de la Parra.(VERSIÓN ESPAÑOLand ENGLISH).clic down and read.
Un buen día Monterroso se quitó la flojera y escribió la novela completa que finalizaba con la frase: "al despertar, el dinosaurio todavía estaba ahí.
ENGLISH VERSION
On a good day, Monterroso shook off the lazyness and went on to write the complete novel that ended with the sentence: "and when he awoke, the dinousaur was still there."
ENGLISH VERSION
On a good day, Monterroso shook off the lazyness and went on to write the complete novel that ended with the sentence: "and when he awoke, the dinousaur was still there."
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
EUREKA. © Carlos de la Parra. ( español--english, clic down. existen 2 blogs llamados themicrostories, haga clic en mi perfil para leer el otro) There are two blogs titled themicrostories. Clic on my profile to find the other one. Avoid google translator because it does it inaccurately. Just clic down and read english version.
Resolví el dilema acerca de como decidir a quien echar fuera de la balsa cuando todos se quieren por igual, pero de no hacerlo se ahogarían.
Tomar turnos y arrastrar a los que quedan en el agua.
Quizás ésto dé luz para ser aplicado en otro tipo de emergencias.
ENGLISH VERSION.
I have solved the dilemma of deciding who gets off the lifeboat when all inside love one another, but not doing so would drown everyone.
Take turns and drag all who remain in the water.
Perhaps this might be applied to other sort of emergencies.
Tomar turnos y arrastrar a los que quedan en el agua.
Quizás ésto dé luz para ser aplicado en otro tipo de emergencias.
ENGLISH VERSION.
I have solved the dilemma of deciding who gets off the lifeboat when all inside love one another, but not doing so would drown everyone.
Take turns and drag all who remain in the water.
Perhaps this might be applied to other sort of emergencies.
Monday, June 6, 2011
FUTURAMA. © Carlos de la Parra. English and Spanish versions. Clic down to read extreme stories. Find twin blog of same name by clicking on profile. Encuentre blog gemelo del mismo nombre haciendo clic en el perfil del autor.
El astronauta vio sentado por los anillos de Saturno a uno de los seres eternos que habitan el espacio exterior. Bajó de la nave y entabló una conversación con él para incluirla en el reporte de su viaje:
----¿ Que haces por aquí en medio de lo inhabitado?---
----Me gusta venir a éstos luminosos lugares para comprobar cuan exacto se vá tornando mi futuro a ser igual a como yo decidí manipular que fuése.----
----Eso es algo que no se le dá a mi especie. Pues siempre nos llega un momento final en que no tenemos futuro.---
----No se ni que decirte. Que situación tan jodida.---
ENGLISH VERSION
As the astronaut arrived by one of Saturn's rings, he saw one of those eternal beings sitting there. He decided to have a chat and include it in the report for his trip.
----Hey, what's up?.---
----Not much. Just evaluating how much of my future is turning out to be just the way I planned it.----
----That is something very few in my species can do. Sooner or later we come to a point at which there is no future.---
----What can I say. That sounds frankly shitty.---
----¿ Que haces por aquí en medio de lo inhabitado?---
----Me gusta venir a éstos luminosos lugares para comprobar cuan exacto se vá tornando mi futuro a ser igual a como yo decidí manipular que fuése.----
----Eso es algo que no se le dá a mi especie. Pues siempre nos llega un momento final en que no tenemos futuro.---
----No se ni que decirte. Que situación tan jodida.---
ENGLISH VERSION
As the astronaut arrived by one of Saturn's rings, he saw one of those eternal beings sitting there. He decided to have a chat and include it in the report for his trip.
----Hey, what's up?.---
----Not much. Just evaluating how much of my future is turning out to be just the way I planned it.----
----That is something very few in my species can do. Sooner or later we come to a point at which there is no future.---
----What can I say. That sounds frankly shitty.---
Monday, May 23, 2011
DEJA VU.© Carlos de la Parra. Bilingual micro story. Clic down for english version.
----Sí general. Nuestras naves intergalácticas tuvieron a bien viajar al remoto pasado por una era conocida como : El Imperio Romano.----
---¿Trajeron algún recuerdo de la misión?---
----Un crucificado que jalamos a la nave justo en el momento en que regresaba a sus conocidos después de desclavarse y huir. Hubiése visto sus caras cuando lo subimos.---
---Traelo a mí. Quiero verlo.---
----No lo va a creer. Pero al aterrizar junto al lago, se fué corriendo sobre el agua.---
---No insultes mi inteligencia.---
ENGLISH VERSION.
----Yes general. We traveled back in time to the roman empire with our space fleet.---
---Did you bring anything back?---
----Yes. A man who had just escaped crucifixion and happened to be reuniting with the ones that knew him.
You should have seen their faces when we pulled him up to the ship.---
----Bring him to me. I want to see him.---
----You won't believe what happened. We landed next to the lake and he ran away over the water.---
----Don't insult my intelligence.---
---¿Trajeron algún recuerdo de la misión?---
----Un crucificado que jalamos a la nave justo en el momento en que regresaba a sus conocidos después de desclavarse y huir. Hubiése visto sus caras cuando lo subimos.---
---Traelo a mí. Quiero verlo.---
----No lo va a creer. Pero al aterrizar junto al lago, se fué corriendo sobre el agua.---
---No insultes mi inteligencia.---
ENGLISH VERSION.
----Yes general. We traveled back in time to the roman empire with our space fleet.---
---Did you bring anything back?---
----Yes. A man who had just escaped crucifixion and happened to be reuniting with the ones that knew him.
You should have seen their faces when we pulled him up to the ship.---
----Bring him to me. I want to see him.---
----You won't believe what happened. We landed next to the lake and he ran away over the water.---
----Don't insult my intelligence.---
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
FLASH.© Carlos de la Parra. (Micro story in English and Spanish versions). Micro relato en versiones Español e Inglés. clic down to read.
Se regocijó en llegar al planeta nudista del cual escuchaba tantos relatos en la radio de su nave.
A pesar de que ahí se convirtió en una celebridad se sintió muy sólo. Toda la población se componía de personas invisibles.
Excepto él.
Nunca imaginó que a las más bellas preferiría verlas vestidas.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He rejoiced as he landed on that nudist planet he had heard about on his spaceship's radio.
He felt lonesome in spite of becoming an instant celebrity since his arrival.
The entire population consisted of invisible people.
Except him.
He never imagined he would prefer to see the women dressed.
A pesar de que ahí se convirtió en una celebridad se sintió muy sólo. Toda la población se componía de personas invisibles.
Excepto él.
Nunca imaginó que a las más bellas preferiría verlas vestidas.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He rejoiced as he landed on that nudist planet he had heard about on his spaceship's radio.
He felt lonesome in spite of becoming an instant celebrity since his arrival.
The entire population consisted of invisible people.
Except him.
He never imagined he would prefer to see the women dressed.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
SIMBIOSIS.© Carlos de la Parra.( English and spanish versions. Clic down to read more)
Regresó al lejano lugar localizado en medio de la nada de donde alguna vez huyó para irse a la gran ciudad donde triunfaría al encontrarse ante una diversidad de oportunidades. Y sin embargo fracasó.
---¿ Y que hacías ahí para ganarte la vida ?--- Preguntó su padre, el viejo ermitaño que plantaba flores sin que nadie le pagara por hacerlo.
----Vendía de todo tipo de objetos. Relojes , lociones, ropa, vitaminas, lo que fuera. Pero siempre llegaba la mala racha y me gastaba el capital de trabajo para sobrevivir en la crisis. Finalmente acabé en la calle y vine a verte. Lamento decirte que fracasé.---
---No creas tal cosa. Salir de tan malos negocios es un triunfo. Imagina que no hubieses caído al fondo; seguirías atado a negocitos chachareros que ni fú ni fá para el resto de tu vida. En cambio aquí puedes crear una estructura de progreso donde trabajes un tiempo y luego no te vuelva a faltar sustento el resto de tu vida.--
---¿ Y cómo le haré para montar una empresa aquí, en medio de la nada ?---
---Veo que la ciudad te ha cegado al grado de no poder ver nada aquí donde estamos rodeados de flores y de posibilidades que allá no existen.---
Y para dar substancia a la palabra el viejo tomó martillo y clavos y se puso a enseñarle al hijo el armado de las cajas de abejas, junto con la explicación de como había llegado a sus oídos la noticia de que las grandes transnacionales que monopolizan los alimentos han estado envenenando a éstas variedades mieleras, y como cada caja produce 500 kilos en una temporada, y con lo que sacaran de la primera caja daría para financiar una 20 más y de ahí el cielo es el límite.
--- Además a saber que otras fallas traerá la abeja con ingeniería genética que ellos intentan patentar.---
dijo el padre, y agregó, pero no te preocupes que aparte de todo el dinero que vas a ganar, le estás salvando la existencia a la abeja de Dios. Y éso no puede fallar.---
Y así fué para todos los que como éste joven han seguido éste mismo consejo para triunfar haciendo una buena obra ecológica.
Busquen en Google :Bees and honey.Hay muchos videos de como producir miel. Y no le revelen a nadie donde está el apiario para no caer en la mira de los malvados..
ESPERO HAYAN DISFRUTADO ÉSTE COMBINADO DE CUENTO Y CONSEJO FINANCIERO PARA RESCATAR A LAS ABEJAS Y LAS DELICIAS DE LA MIEL.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He returned to that forest in the middle of nowhere that he fled from ten years ago to conquer the city and all it's glory. This he never did for failure kept him on the brink of poverty straight to the day he was evicted from his apartment in the ghetto.
---And what were you doing to earn a living?--- Asked his old father, the hermit who spent his days planting flowers and living from the land day by day, never concerned about the past nor the future but remainig into an eternal present.
----I tried to grow a bussiness from sales of trinkets and all kinds of novelty items from watches to lotions, or anyhing that appeared in the market, but I kept falling into a cycle where sales would decrease forcing me to eat up my principal until I finally lost it all.---
---No way. Getting rid of a trinkety bussiness is a blessing. If you had not hit rock bottom you could have been trapped for life into such an inane activity. You now face the opportunity to create a real bussiness here that will sustain you for life.----
----I don't see anything happening here. How could I get anywhere in this zero action zone?----
----The city has made you blind.Out here in the quiet of the forest the travelers that pass by brught me the news that the large food monopolies have been extinguishing the honey bee while they create their own genetically engineered insect to replace them and give them the ownership of all the honey. I 've been planting flowers and farming my own food for years. So let's start building the boxes for the bees to make honey, and you can travel to the towns and cities and sell it. Just keep quiet that you are producing it, we don't want the bad guy coming around and poisoning our operation.----
And with this formula they obtained the good karma of success by keeping God's bees alive and well.
In time they grew many small operations to stay invisible. Most people are not aware what a great bussiness is producing honey. They get freaked out by the idea of getting stung by bees. But this does not happen when you do it right. Google Bees and Honey.
I hope you have enjoyed this combination of short story and bussiness advice. If you don't care to go that far but you just want to help the bees survive, plant some flowers.
---¿ Y que hacías ahí para ganarte la vida ?--- Preguntó su padre, el viejo ermitaño que plantaba flores sin que nadie le pagara por hacerlo.
----Vendía de todo tipo de objetos. Relojes , lociones, ropa, vitaminas, lo que fuera. Pero siempre llegaba la mala racha y me gastaba el capital de trabajo para sobrevivir en la crisis. Finalmente acabé en la calle y vine a verte. Lamento decirte que fracasé.---
---No creas tal cosa. Salir de tan malos negocios es un triunfo. Imagina que no hubieses caído al fondo; seguirías atado a negocitos chachareros que ni fú ni fá para el resto de tu vida. En cambio aquí puedes crear una estructura de progreso donde trabajes un tiempo y luego no te vuelva a faltar sustento el resto de tu vida.--
---¿ Y cómo le haré para montar una empresa aquí, en medio de la nada ?---
---Veo que la ciudad te ha cegado al grado de no poder ver nada aquí donde estamos rodeados de flores y de posibilidades que allá no existen.---
Y para dar substancia a la palabra el viejo tomó martillo y clavos y se puso a enseñarle al hijo el armado de las cajas de abejas, junto con la explicación de como había llegado a sus oídos la noticia de que las grandes transnacionales que monopolizan los alimentos han estado envenenando a éstas variedades mieleras, y como cada caja produce 500 kilos en una temporada, y con lo que sacaran de la primera caja daría para financiar una 20 más y de ahí el cielo es el límite.
--- Además a saber que otras fallas traerá la abeja con ingeniería genética que ellos intentan patentar.---
dijo el padre, y agregó, pero no te preocupes que aparte de todo el dinero que vas a ganar, le estás salvando la existencia a la abeja de Dios. Y éso no puede fallar.---
Y así fué para todos los que como éste joven han seguido éste mismo consejo para triunfar haciendo una buena obra ecológica.
Busquen en Google :Bees and honey.Hay muchos videos de como producir miel. Y no le revelen a nadie donde está el apiario para no caer en la mira de los malvados..
ESPERO HAYAN DISFRUTADO ÉSTE COMBINADO DE CUENTO Y CONSEJO FINANCIERO PARA RESCATAR A LAS ABEJAS Y LAS DELICIAS DE LA MIEL.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He returned to that forest in the middle of nowhere that he fled from ten years ago to conquer the city and all it's glory. This he never did for failure kept him on the brink of poverty straight to the day he was evicted from his apartment in the ghetto.
---And what were you doing to earn a living?--- Asked his old father, the hermit who spent his days planting flowers and living from the land day by day, never concerned about the past nor the future but remainig into an eternal present.
----I tried to grow a bussiness from sales of trinkets and all kinds of novelty items from watches to lotions, or anyhing that appeared in the market, but I kept falling into a cycle where sales would decrease forcing me to eat up my principal until I finally lost it all.---
---No way. Getting rid of a trinkety bussiness is a blessing. If you had not hit rock bottom you could have been trapped for life into such an inane activity. You now face the opportunity to create a real bussiness here that will sustain you for life.----
----I don't see anything happening here. How could I get anywhere in this zero action zone?----
----The city has made you blind.Out here in the quiet of the forest the travelers that pass by brught me the news that the large food monopolies have been extinguishing the honey bee while they create their own genetically engineered insect to replace them and give them the ownership of all the honey. I 've been planting flowers and farming my own food for years. So let's start building the boxes for the bees to make honey, and you can travel to the towns and cities and sell it. Just keep quiet that you are producing it, we don't want the bad guy coming around and poisoning our operation.----
And with this formula they obtained the good karma of success by keeping God's bees alive and well.
In time they grew many small operations to stay invisible. Most people are not aware what a great bussiness is producing honey. They get freaked out by the idea of getting stung by bees. But this does not happen when you do it right. Google Bees and Honey.
I hope you have enjoyed this combination of short story and bussiness advice. If you don't care to go that far but you just want to help the bees survive, plant some flowers.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
EXCELSIOR.© Carlos de la Parra.( Spanish and English versions.) Clic down to read. All posts in both languages.
El supremo maestro le pasó al alumno una hoja de papel en blanco y le dijo al alumno:---Ahí puedes ver lo mejor que has escrito.---
El alumno replicó: ---Pero maestro, ésta hoja está en blanco.----
Le respondió el mentor:---Esa es precisamente la oportunidad, basta con que pongas ahí lo mejor que tengas y luego lo pules hasta la perfección.---
ENGLISH VERSION.
The supreme master extended a blank page to his trainee and said:---You can see your best writing in there.---
The pupil replied:---But master, this is a blank page.---
The mentor's response was final: ---There lies your opportunity. Just write in there your very best and then polish it to perfection.---
El alumno replicó: ---Pero maestro, ésta hoja está en blanco.----
Le respondió el mentor:---Esa es precisamente la oportunidad, basta con que pongas ahí lo mejor que tengas y luego lo pules hasta la perfección.---
ENGLISH VERSION.
The supreme master extended a blank page to his trainee and said:---You can see your best writing in there.---
The pupil replied:---But master, this is a blank page.---
The mentor's response was final: ---There lies your opportunity. Just write in there your very best and then polish it to perfection.---
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
WRITERS BLOCK---BLOQUEO DE ESCRITOR,© Carlos de la Parra.(Spanish and English versions of a typical problem, clic down for unique view.)
El escritor harto de contemplar la hoja en blanco se puso a dibujar una mano huesuda como de esqueleto. Tan bien hecha le quedó que cobró vida y lo jaló de la corbata y lo fué metiendo para dentro de la hoja al tiempo que le gritaba:
--- ¡Que hartazgo tengo de tí, presionándome con la mirada, pensando que idiotez vas a escribir!,¿ Pero ya te has puesto a pensar a quien le importa lo que escribas y como lo escribas?----
----Bueno quizás a nadie más que a mí---- respondió agónicamente agarrándose de las orillas de la hoja para evitar que éste horrible esqueleto lo acabase de meter dentro del papel.---
----Por Dios, dame un respiro. Ya han pasado desfiles de premiados con el Nobel, el Goncourt, el Príncipe de Asturias,y más; ¿Y qué? Igual se mueren y a la gente no le importa, mira escribe cualquier idiotez que aparezca en el interior de tu cráneo y vete a trabajar, o prepara una buena cena, o cumple con tu deber de entretener al perro, haz cualquier cosa, pero ya.---
En éso sonó el teléfono y contestó con la mano libre y escuchó:
------Pásame al de la mano huesuda.----
Le pasó el teléfono y éste le soltó la mano. Se fué a preparar la cena.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He was at it again, enduring writer's block, sitting there like an idiot staring at the blank page.
Finally realizing this was an exercise of motionless stress and sanity doubts he opted to draw a bony skeletal hand. And he was doing such a great job at it that the hand for unbeknownst reasons came alive on it's own and proceeded to pull him from his tie into the blank page, needless to say causing the writer sheer terror at disappearing into the abyss of that sheet of paper not understanding the final intentions the bony hand had for him , so he struggled to brace himself from his desk and pulled back on the hand with so much strength that you could see the whole bony arm sticking out of the paper. Then he heard the voice of this eerie creature speak:
---Oh man! I'm so sick of you, always stalking the page, conniving to impress with all the crap you imagine, has it ever dawned on you , who gives a royal shit at what you write? Are you not aware before your performance that you have previously been bested by many of other writers who have outdone you by winning nobels, and bookers and goncourts not to mention eons of prizes designed to give them a luster as deservers of glory and money, and who cares?
----Well maybe I care. It's about doing my own version, I'm not competing with anyone, I just do my thing.----
----OH. JUST ENTIRELY SICKENING! Allow me to drown you in a sea of vomit.
Why don't you apply your sick self to something you do well like entertaining the dog or cooking dinner?----
At this point the phone rang and the writer picked it up with his free hand and heard the voice saying.
---Pass me the guy with the bony hand---.
As he handed the receiver, he let go off him ,Now he left the room to go prepare supper.
--- ¡Que hartazgo tengo de tí, presionándome con la mirada, pensando que idiotez vas a escribir!,¿ Pero ya te has puesto a pensar a quien le importa lo que escribas y como lo escribas?----
----Bueno quizás a nadie más que a mí---- respondió agónicamente agarrándose de las orillas de la hoja para evitar que éste horrible esqueleto lo acabase de meter dentro del papel.---
----Por Dios, dame un respiro. Ya han pasado desfiles de premiados con el Nobel, el Goncourt, el Príncipe de Asturias,y más; ¿Y qué? Igual se mueren y a la gente no le importa, mira escribe cualquier idiotez que aparezca en el interior de tu cráneo y vete a trabajar, o prepara una buena cena, o cumple con tu deber de entretener al perro, haz cualquier cosa, pero ya.---
En éso sonó el teléfono y contestó con la mano libre y escuchó:
------Pásame al de la mano huesuda.----
Le pasó el teléfono y éste le soltó la mano. Se fué a preparar la cena.
ENGLISH VERSION.
He was at it again, enduring writer's block, sitting there like an idiot staring at the blank page.
Finally realizing this was an exercise of motionless stress and sanity doubts he opted to draw a bony skeletal hand. And he was doing such a great job at it that the hand for unbeknownst reasons came alive on it's own and proceeded to pull him from his tie into the blank page, needless to say causing the writer sheer terror at disappearing into the abyss of that sheet of paper not understanding the final intentions the bony hand had for him , so he struggled to brace himself from his desk and pulled back on the hand with so much strength that you could see the whole bony arm sticking out of the paper. Then he heard the voice of this eerie creature speak:
---Oh man! I'm so sick of you, always stalking the page, conniving to impress with all the crap you imagine, has it ever dawned on you , who gives a royal shit at what you write? Are you not aware before your performance that you have previously been bested by many of other writers who have outdone you by winning nobels, and bookers and goncourts not to mention eons of prizes designed to give them a luster as deservers of glory and money, and who cares?
----Well maybe I care. It's about doing my own version, I'm not competing with anyone, I just do my thing.----
----OH. JUST ENTIRELY SICKENING! Allow me to drown you in a sea of vomit.
Why don't you apply your sick self to something you do well like entertaining the dog or cooking dinner?----
At this point the phone rang and the writer picked it up with his free hand and heard the voice saying.
---Pass me the guy with the bony hand---.
As he handed the receiver, he let go off him ,Now he left the room to go prepare supper.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
PICNIC. © Carlos de la Parra. (Spanish and English versions. Clic down to read)
Juan Pascual paseaba por el bosque y tuvo que detenerse ante lo que presenciaba.
Un joven alto de cabello largo estaba sentado en la pradera en el area donde los excursionistas paraban a descansar y disfrutar sus alimentos y tenía ante él una pequeña ración de sardinas y un bollo de pan que se aprestaba a convertir en un bocadillo que se pasaría con la botella de agua mineral que había puesto sobre el mantel. El susodicho tenía un enorme carisma, tanto que se vió pronto rodeado de ardillas y de niños pobres quienes todos parecían apetecer sus alimentos. El solitario campista sonrió y con éste gesto alentó a todos para que se acercasen más.
Para la total sorpresa de Juan Pascual, el joven, como si se tratase de un acto de magia, comenzó de su plato de pescado a sacar platos igualmente servidos y los repartió entre los niños quienes devoraban con enorme apetito y luego repartió por igual panes a niños y ardillas, ya cumplida ésta tarea se sirvió un vaso del agua la cual se convirtió en vino, y procedió a comer con todos.
Juan Pascual nunca había sido un hombre religioso, pero ante lo que vió, se sintió iluminado por un pensamiento que le indicó que a como diéra lugar él tenía que contratar a éste joven para ser el jefe de bodega de su restaurante de mariscos.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Rex Volf was surprised at what he saw as he trailed through the national park. It was a long haired youth who was placing a tablecloth on the grassy area and serving his meal from a basket. On a plate he served some sardines and a bun of rye bread and placed some bottled water next to it.
Soon he attracted a large group of squirrels and hungry children who stared intently at his food. He smiled at them with such charisma that they all came closer. Now he started doing something that could only be described as magic. From his plate with the fish, he seemed to be pulling like plates with a serving for each of the children and he went on to do the same with the rye bread pulling equal buns which he handed to each child and more bread that he fed all the squirrels with. And to top this when he poured the water on his glass, it turned into wine.
Now Rex Volf had never been a man of religious nature, but as he witnessed this he felt his mind illuminated with the conviction that he must hire this man to be in charge of the supply department in his seafood chain of restaurants.
Un joven alto de cabello largo estaba sentado en la pradera en el area donde los excursionistas paraban a descansar y disfrutar sus alimentos y tenía ante él una pequeña ración de sardinas y un bollo de pan que se aprestaba a convertir en un bocadillo que se pasaría con la botella de agua mineral que había puesto sobre el mantel. El susodicho tenía un enorme carisma, tanto que se vió pronto rodeado de ardillas y de niños pobres quienes todos parecían apetecer sus alimentos. El solitario campista sonrió y con éste gesto alentó a todos para que se acercasen más.
Para la total sorpresa de Juan Pascual, el joven, como si se tratase de un acto de magia, comenzó de su plato de pescado a sacar platos igualmente servidos y los repartió entre los niños quienes devoraban con enorme apetito y luego repartió por igual panes a niños y ardillas, ya cumplida ésta tarea se sirvió un vaso del agua la cual se convirtió en vino, y procedió a comer con todos.
Juan Pascual nunca había sido un hombre religioso, pero ante lo que vió, se sintió iluminado por un pensamiento que le indicó que a como diéra lugar él tenía que contratar a éste joven para ser el jefe de bodega de su restaurante de mariscos.
ENGLISH VERSION.
Rex Volf was surprised at what he saw as he trailed through the national park. It was a long haired youth who was placing a tablecloth on the grassy area and serving his meal from a basket. On a plate he served some sardines and a bun of rye bread and placed some bottled water next to it.
Soon he attracted a large group of squirrels and hungry children who stared intently at his food. He smiled at them with such charisma that they all came closer. Now he started doing something that could only be described as magic. From his plate with the fish, he seemed to be pulling like plates with a serving for each of the children and he went on to do the same with the rye bread pulling equal buns which he handed to each child and more bread that he fed all the squirrels with. And to top this when he poured the water on his glass, it turned into wine.
Now Rex Volf had never been a man of religious nature, but as he witnessed this he felt his mind illuminated with the conviction that he must hire this man to be in charge of the supply department in his seafood chain of restaurants.
Monday, January 3, 2011
RISIBLE. © Carlos de la Parra. (Spanish followed by English version, just clic down to read.)
`Meditaba acerca de mi presentación de comedia en el hospital de la senectud, ciertamente logré hacerlos reír, aunque no se si me pasé de la raya con el humor negro, como cuando les dije: "Me gusta trabajar en la zona de enfermos terminales, ahí los turnos son cortos pues antes de acabar el acto ya se murieron, y con el beneficio agregado de que los clientes muertos no reclaman ni critican. Miren mejor ríanse antes de que cuente los chistes pues a ustedes les quedan sólo 15 minutos. Les digo que cuando venía para acá a uno lo llevaban en camilla y al reconocerme me quiso hacer reír, y lo logró, hizo las caras más chistosas mientras agitaba sus manos como pa'ver si reconocía la imitación, le grité UN GORILA ESTREÑIDO, y los dos entramos en convulsiones, pero yo de la risa. Luego me enteré que lo que a él le pasaba es que se le acabó el oxígeno, tuve que taparme la cara y entre las carcajadas fingir que yo lloraba."
Creo más bien que la causa de mi despido fué por los dos que ahí mismo murieron de risa,
Que injusticia culparme a mí,si cuando llegué a dar el show ya estaban practicamente muertos.
ENGLISH VERSION
I had performed my duties as a comedian at the Senior terminal ward in the hospital that finally took the decision of firing me. I wonder why this happened. Perhaps I pressed too hard on the dark humor but to my hindsight it had been getting good laughs which is all you can demand from a comedian, for a medical approach they have doctors that can give you a countdown on how much air time you have left,
seriously I never told them how to do their job and they should not tell me how to do mine.
As I review my routine speech to find if there was something unappropiate or if I overdid myself in something, to my recollection the speech went something like this: ---If you prefer you may laugh first and I'll tell the jokes afterward, I am aware some of the audience here has only fifteen minutes left.
(pause for laughter), Yeah no wonder there were at least 20 buzzards perched on the trees outside the hospital ( more nervous laughter), man those birds are good finding food, (laughter) heck, I love working the terminal ward, never get any complaints from patients here, guess you guys don't have time to waste in that kind of stuff, more like get me my oxygen or, where's my morphine?,(more laughs), yeah on my way here they had this guy rrolling down the aisle in a gurney and I see how he recognized me and he's making signs at me like he wants me to figure out what his mimic imitation is about and I get it and yell at him A CONSTIPATED CHIMP, and we both start cracking up , well at least I was because that old guy was having a heart attack, oh God he was funnyyyyyyy, too bad I couldn't bring him with us he could make the greatest faces, yeah too bad he's no longer with us ( laughter)---
See? There was nothing said out of the ordinary. Now it's dawning on me it's probably about those two old geezers that died laughing. Really unfair blaming me for that, they were already practically dead when the show started.
Creo más bien que la causa de mi despido fué por los dos que ahí mismo murieron de risa,
Que injusticia culparme a mí,si cuando llegué a dar el show ya estaban practicamente muertos.
ENGLISH VERSION
I had performed my duties as a comedian at the Senior terminal ward in the hospital that finally took the decision of firing me. I wonder why this happened. Perhaps I pressed too hard on the dark humor but to my hindsight it had been getting good laughs which is all you can demand from a comedian, for a medical approach they have doctors that can give you a countdown on how much air time you have left,
seriously I never told them how to do their job and they should not tell me how to do mine.
As I review my routine speech to find if there was something unappropiate or if I overdid myself in something, to my recollection the speech went something like this: ---If you prefer you may laugh first and I'll tell the jokes afterward, I am aware some of the audience here has only fifteen minutes left.
(pause for laughter), Yeah no wonder there were at least 20 buzzards perched on the trees outside the hospital ( more nervous laughter), man those birds are good finding food, (laughter) heck, I love working the terminal ward, never get any complaints from patients here, guess you guys don't have time to waste in that kind of stuff, more like get me my oxygen or, where's my morphine?,(more laughs), yeah on my way here they had this guy rrolling down the aisle in a gurney and I see how he recognized me and he's making signs at me like he wants me to figure out what his mimic imitation is about and I get it and yell at him A CONSTIPATED CHIMP, and we both start cracking up , well at least I was because that old guy was having a heart attack, oh God he was funnyyyyyyy, too bad I couldn't bring him with us he could make the greatest faces, yeah too bad he's no longer with us ( laughter)---
See? There was nothing said out of the ordinary. Now it's dawning on me it's probably about those two old geezers that died laughing. Really unfair blaming me for that, they were already practically dead when the show started.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
NEO MIDAS. © Carlos de la Parra.( Spanish and English versions, clic down, each story intends to be out of the box. Some even make it.)
Esa mañana de enero sus propósitos de año nuevo rebasaban en ambición cualquier anhelo de su pasado. Se dedicaría a iniciar un gran negocio, estaba lleno de planes y detalles que lo llevarían infaliblemente al éxito. Con nitidez podía ver en lo interno de su mente como se convertiría en creador de un imperio.
Por el momento pediría prestados veinte pesos para comprar algo para el desayuno.
ENGLISH VERSION.
That january morning his new years resolutions soared higher than ever before.
He would start a new bussiness and his mind exploded with plans and projects full of details that guaranteed total success. It became crystal clear in his mind that he contemplated the surge of a great emporium.
Meanwhile he would go borrow ten bucks to get something for the family's breakfast.
Por el momento pediría prestados veinte pesos para comprar algo para el desayuno.
ENGLISH VERSION.
That january morning his new years resolutions soared higher than ever before.
He would start a new bussiness and his mind exploded with plans and projects full of details that guaranteed total success. It became crystal clear in his mind that he contemplated the surge of a great emporium.
Meanwhile he would go borrow ten bucks to get something for the family's breakfast.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
